Moving on

November 14, 2010
6:43 PM

As I looked at my bags, my clothes all piled up in my bed ready to be packed. I suddenly felt like I already miss my family even though they're just downstairs also packing up boxes that they're gonna bring when they move to our new apartment in Quezon City. I practically lived with my family my whole life. I have to admit there were tough times but other times it was good. I felt like I can do anything when I'm with them. My family can be quite a handful but I will choose them in any lifetime over and over. I suddenly felt nervous and scared that I'm actually gonna be on my own but mostly I just feel like I'm terribly gonna miss my family.

The day they moved, I went to work early. I told my mom "I have to go now. This is all too much for me. I'm very emotional now." She laughed so hard. I left without even looking back. I thought to myself, why the heck was she laughing? Who said I was kidding?!



There were tons of stuff that I had to bring..



and some I had to give away..:(



A list is a must. I love OC packing!!<3>






I moved to a boarding house just accross the street owned by a lady whom I always found very weird. She and her house is another story.;)

The More Loving One

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

-W. H. Auden

Small World

Hey Jasmin Banares! What in the world were you thinking checking the daily traffic report in this website?! Wtf?

Tara sucks! (heart)

After some time. Moving out not just from our house but from just about everything and everyone. My heart is still crashed. If this is a bet, talong talo ako. Hahaha It amazes me how I can still find humor in small things. I definitely don't rock nowadays.

Majinbu

Just when I thought I'll never laugh again.. I saw this picture.

Font

I'm changing font. I think it looks better. Less eyeache. Haha

MIB2

August 30, 2010

2:18 AM

My mind is blank. Yesterday, my family spent the whole afternoon playing cards in the living room. They were laughing and having a good time. I would give anything for moments like that. I just wish my brother was home. It would have been perfect. I can't say that everything is okay now cause I know it's still far from that but everyday brings a new hope that things would get better. I'll forever stick to what I know, my parents love each other so they'll be able to figure things out.

I don't break down that much anymore but I'm still afraid to drink. I don't want to have another maudlin conversation with anyone, that's just not how I am. A friend of mine once said that I'm the most chillax person she knows. I intend to keep that reputation. I miss my friends though. I don't get to hang out with them anymore. During the past months when I described myself as a total mess, it was like a struggle for me to meet anyone. It was like the cheerful, outgoing, forget about everything Tara was gone. No matter how I try to bring her to come out, she just won't move from where she was. I intend to go back to the social scene when everything clears up. I just want to do it one day at a time.

It's not true that MIB2 is not a good movie (shout out to Dianne Navarro). I really did learn something from it. Agent K played by Tommy Lee Jones said it right "We are who we are even if we sometimes forget."

And when I do get over this whole thing, I'll proudly say that I did it on my own. Done in the most chillax way possible. Without others and without alcohol.

Well maybe with just a little bit of alcohol. ;)