Are you in love?

March 16, 2009
around 9:40 PM


"Love is like a wonder drug.


In love, feeling subordinates reason.


Love makes people lose control of their minds."

-Mr. Nam

I got a be.. a good girl..

March 12, 2009

2:43 AM

I tried to be a different person..

Totally unrecognizable from who I really am..

True enough.. I was able to do it..

But I'm just not sure..

If I really like the person that I've become.

*I got the title from Rain's (a Korean singer) new album. It's not a grammatical error. Haha

Rocking the new YOU!

January 27, 2009
1:16 PM

Later, the Lunar New Year will finally be over. I guess every individual will live their lives the way they did before.. or not. I will quit smoking. I will live a healthy life. I will not be late. I will save money. Ahuh! I heard all of that before. I even said those words myself. Not that I don’t believe in a person’s capacity to change, but New Year’s resolutions last for a week. That’s just it. Can’t argue with that.

2008 was indeed an unforgettable year for me. Changes occurred unexpectedly. I had to undergo some leaps of faith. I learned a lot of things.. unfortunately sometimes in the hard way, but nonetheless I’m still thankful for every bit of moment. In every experience, I was able to meet new beautiful people.. I lost a couple of important ones as well, but that’s just the way it is. All of us just have to be thankful that we are given the chance to be in another person’s life. So, given this rare opportunity, we always have to make an impact so that we can leave a mark in another individuals life.. memory. Not all people will stay in our lives even if we want them to, so we just have to enjoy life and take pleasure in every moment. Sounds dramatic. Just like in some of Nicholas Spark’s well written novels. Hahaha. This year, life-changing decisions had to be made. I had to grow up, leave some things behind.. I had to live life.

But I’m done and dusted. It’s yet another exciting year.. so out with the old.. IN WITH THE NEW..

Cheers to 2009! :)


Oh! Before I forget.. One major event for me last year was when my answer for a question was included in a magazine. I hope you guys can check it out. They even included my picture. :)

YOU magazine under Hinge Inquirer Publications also features really cool articles about the latest fashion and music. Since the issue that I’m in was published last year, you guys can get back issues after I guess 6 months. Lol. Just get a copy. You guys figure out how.

YOU Magazine September/October 2008 Issue

You can also check out www.youmagazine.multiply.com.

zigzags

December 07, 2008
01:35 AM

I’ve been wanting to write about different topics such as how I think life is all about plus and bonuses, the real meaning of teaching (well.. at least in my opinion), the current condition of my company and the people working in it. But instead, I decided to take a break from serious issues and write about something else. Not that this topic is of no relevance or need not to be taken seriously, it’s just that I don’t normally write about this kind of stuff. I don’t even talk about it that much, so it’s definitely something new for me. Tonight, I decided to write about how it feels like to be heartbroken.

I’m no expert when it comes to heartbreaks, how it feels like and overcoming it. Actually, I don’t really have much to say when it comes to feelings and emotions. I don’t have much experience on the topic but I surely heard tons of stories from my friends about being heartbroken. I always tell them “Di ko na kailangan magkaboyfriend, henyo na ko sa pag-ibig dahil sa inyo.” It amazes me how I can give a perfectly good advice on topics about love when I actually don’t have much knowledge about it. Haha.. I have to agree that a person can’t really tell how something feels like unless he or she is in the actual situation so I don’t know where my words of wisdom come from.. maybe from movies? Books? Magazines? I’m really not sure.

I think everybody has his or her own story of being heartbroken. Losing someone over another boy or girl. Loving someone who is in another side of the planet (I’m talking about long distance relationships), or simply loving someone who doesn’t love you back. The stories seem endless. In my case, I have this bad habit of liking people.. whom I really.. well.. shouldn’t like. It’s kinda hard to explain so I’ll just give some examples. I actually had feelings for someone who is totally into a friend of mine, I liked a friend who is about to get married, and believe it or not I also liked someone whose age is way out of my league. Haha.. I don’t know why but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the chase. It can be fun at first but the results are most of the time the same.. Heartbreaks. It really sucks come to think of it, when you’re heartbroken, it’s like everything reminds you of the person, every little thing. I think it’s really interesting how even one place or song will remind you of something that you thought you have already forgotten. Just one song and it’s like one long forgotten experience just happened the day before. It also sucks when you think you hate a person but still you want to hear how he or she is doing. Just hearing the persons name seem to have an effect on your day. And I think it sucks even more when you can’t seem to stop thinking about a person when the fact is you don’t really know if the person is thinking about you or thought about you even for just a brief moment. You’ll ask yourself “How can he forget about me that easily?” It’s totally unfair.

I think being heartbroken doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships, you can feel heartbroken because of a sad movie that you were able to relate to, you can be heartbroken because you said goodbye to people important to you or you can be heartbroken because of something you saw that in some way touched you, like a kid on a street who is working when in fact he should be playing with his friends, I think being heartbroken comes in different forms.

I don’t know how people are able to move on from each of their experiences, but one thing is for sure, they do get through it somehow and I guess the end of it is the best part. Maybe they should just start with the process as early as possible because people moving on.. surely has a long way to go. As for me, I’m taking it slow. I’m giving time for myself. I read in a magazine that you have to be the right person in order to find the right one.

I got this from a cosmopolitan novel. I just forgot which one. I think it clearly describes how it is to be heartbroken.

What happens when someone breaks your heart?

When someone breaks your heart, first you are shocked. Someone will say you are heartbroken and you examine the words break and heart and heartbroken and you immediately decide that it’s inaccurate. You feel pain in the region of your heart and you think it’s your heart breaking but ones heart doesn’t really break, something else does- faith. You stop believing,

No, not in the big things which are most of the time irrelevant. You still believe in God or Buddha or some supreme being, you still believe child prostitution is bad. You just stop believing in the small things that you do, the small things that give meaning to your daily life and you begin to think everything is pointless: Why get up? Why dress up? Why breathe in and out? What for? What for?

When someone breaks your heart (your faith), you stop believing and you switch off the lights inside your heart. Someone is home but that someone is lying in the dark, in the room farthest from the gate, and that someone can’t hear anything. Friends, parents, they call out to her from the gate (“come out” which means “move on”) but they are unheard, unseen, unacknowledged.

When someone breaks your heart, you turn into a small ball of self-pity. You lie in bed, in a ball. You hug your knees, keeping them close to your chest, like a fetus. Freud said it’s human instinct to go back to the womb where we can feel safe.

But that’s what happens when someone breaks your heart-they steal that very thing that makes you feel safe, whole, intact.

second life

In a span of one month..I almost lost my job..

and believe it or not..

I almost lost my life.

I don't want to waste anymore of my time. I'm going to spend every precious minute with people that I love. I'll say what I feel. I'll meet new people.. have fun. Make good decisions.. Work hard. Live my life to the fullest. Not everyone is given the chance.. to live life again.

untitled

September 29, 2008
2:40 AM

Just got home from work. Today was a highly interesting day. I can't stop thinking about my previous conversation with M. At first it was all about our usual rants. We can't seem to get over some people's unexplainable behavior. I can't think of an appropriate adjective to describe them. Anyway, on our way home, while waiting for M's ride, I asked her something that I can't seem to remember now. I really need memry enhancers. It was all about saying bad things and then she asked "Ano bang konsepto mo ng masama?" She said there shouldn't be a concept of what is good and bad. I told her if there isn't a concept for the two and you're just saying something because they're plain facts then it's like you're taking away the feeling of excitement knowing that you're saying something bad. It's like when you don't have a concept of what is bad and you say someone is ugly then it's not fun anymore, but then again that's really mean. Come to think of it when you say mean comments and you say them because they're true does that make you're action correct and acceptable? I don't regret saying all the nasty things I said earlier because some people can be really annoying sometimes. Pigs! (as what M called them), but it still brings me to my question ( I remember it clearly now) "Masama bang magsabi ng masama kung totoo naman?"

I don't know. The truth is "Wala akong pakelam!" How can I think of being good when there are a lot of people doing bad stuff to other people? whether unconsciously or on purpose. I say KTM! (Kill Them All!)

Hahaha..Kidding..NOT! no really..I'm just kidding.. NOT!

After all is said and done..

At the end of it all..

I still have monthly reports to finish.. wtf?!

Brainstorming

September 25, 2008

I heard it. Suddenly a familiar sound bolted out of a laptop. Who would have thought I'd hear that song again. It automatically brought out a feeling that I myself couldn't even recognize. Hearing the lyrics seemed to bring back memries. At first it was blank, It's like time stood still and after what seemed like forever.. I smiled. I'm pretty sure my friends had no idea about what was going on in my head at that exact moment, they just went on with their conversation about the role of interaction and choice in learning. I stared outside from the coffee shop. Everything was so peaceful. I just smiled. It really does get easier everyday.